“How do I deal with relationship conflict in the moment?”
It all starts with a deep breath to calm the panic that hits the nervous system.
Then these words “open mind, closed mouth”. The more we listen the more we learn. And learning allows us to understand the needs behind the emotion.
Listening generously does not mean standing down in our perspective or giving in. Most of us are so busy creating our response rather than truly listening and this only fuels the issue. We armour up with blame and gather the evidence to prove we are right. We become trapped in our own story.
Why do we stop listening? We tend to think we know the other so well we don’t have to listen, we can guess what they mean…and then what starts off as a benign disagreement on dinner becomes the monumental fight about the last x years. Sound familiar? Happens to almost all couples especially as the years become decades.
Conflict managed well leads to more understanding, connection and intimacy. Conflict managed poorly leads to resentment, annoyance and frustration. It can be an opportunity to grow, if even most uncomfortable.
Couples coaching and Couples Relationship Education offered by Momentum is based off research and proven practices (ok, not off personal experience…lots to learn on this side too!).