The journey of eating disorder recovery has been a long one. And I’m still on it.
Like many, I’ve hid my ED from people in my life. Too ashamed and embarrassed to talk about “it”. But over the last decade I’ve started sharing my experiences and story and become committed to recovery. No surprise it correlates with the birth of my kids and my awareness that my daughter would be better served by a healthy role mode mother (lofty goals!).
Decades of food restrictions, obsessive thoughts, negative self image, perfectionism and over exercising are not easily reprogrammed. It takes work and self compassion.
For more than 40 years (I know, I don’t look it, go on… 🙂 I’ve had some sort of food and body image related issue. Through therapy and lots of self exploration I know exactly the origin issues and how compounding factors (including the social expectations of girls and women in the patriarchal culture we live in) have impacted me. I work at this. Every. Single. Day.
I’ve worked with women (and some men) who have had diagnosed EDs and also many many many more who have lived a life absolutely plagued by body image and weight issues. Not willing to wear a bathing suit, too ashamed to join a fitness class, obsessive calorie and macros counting and always the one taking the photo and never in it – these souls are forever tortured by some form of fear and self loathing. If that sounds dramatic, count yourself lucky because research shows that on average more than 85% of women suffer with significant body dissatisfaction EVERY DAY. Our media and diet culture reinforces the materialistic, “never enough”, and “only perfect will do” narrative which traps us all – to one degree or another.
There is a freedom from this all. It truly does exist. And while it may never be smooth sailing for all, nor will all of us embrace courageous and warrior like “body positivity” or “body diversity”, there’s an acceptance that can be achieved. Imagine a day where life wasn’t controlled by a fat thought, a scale or a comparison. Imagine a new freedom. Momentum is here for you.