The fight. It’s never about the schedule. The laundry. The dishes. The kids. Who gets a break. It’s always about connection, recognition, power and control. If your fights sound the same, which they almost always do, stop and think about it. What need, vulnerability or bias is getting triggered again and again and again. Ask “what’s really going on here?” … Read More
Trauma in relationships. In more ways than one childhood trauma can impact your…
Trauma in relationships. In more ways than one childhood trauma can impact your adult relationships. Never feeling safe, endless nervousness, conflict avoidance, fear of being abandoned, negative bias, unhealthy behaviours, unmanageable emotions, boundary violations, scarcity mindset, sexual challenges and constant worry – to name a few. When we are children we learn the necessary psychological survival skills. These almost never … Read More
Relationships. As a couples therapist I want to say something to everyone in a…
Relationships. As a couples therapist I want to say something to everyone in a relationship: Relationships change over time. They have to. Because… You change over time, constantly in development from year to year. It’s called lifespan development. Milestones change us. Children, jobs, self awareness, failures, lessons, life events. Your partner changes, just like you. And because of this, our … Read More
Relational brain. Interpersonal neurobiology is the study of how our brains and…
Relational brain. Interpersonal neurobiology is the study of how our brains and central nervous system are developed through childhood relationships and how these relationships, imprinted into our psyche, impact and influence our neurobiology as adults. It’s been proven that we can co-regulate one another’s nervous systems. I do it everyday with my clients. Influencing cortisol (stress hormones – not all … Read More