Relational brain.
Interpersonal neurobiology is the study of how our brains and central nervous system are developed through childhood relationships and how these relationships, imprinted into our psyche, impact and influence our neurobiology as adults.
It’s been proven that we can co-regulate one another’s nervous systems. I do it everyday with my clients. Influencing cortisol (stress hormones – not all bad btw), immune system responses and overall mental health.
Co-regulation is when “your nervous system meets my nervous system and we crate a new one together”. Couples are co-regulating most of the time but don’t know it. It can create a sense of safety and security – or the opposite – a “holy f&$k we are doomed” feeling. We can invite calm or we can active the fight, flight or freeze response. Learning how to positively co-regulate one another is a crucial skill for a securely attached relationship. Positive connection floods us with oxytocin and creates the body’s own opioids securing attachment. That’s a good high. But the opposite can be just as true. I’ve had a few bad trips…you?
We are social creatures. We are not deigned to self-regulate. Rugged individualism is over rated. And lonely.
Find someone who can regulate your nervous system. Or go to therapy to learn how. Both are possible.
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