Relationships.
As a couples therapist I want to say something to everyone in a relationship:
Relationships change over time. They have to.
Because…
You change over time, constantly in development from year to year. It’s called lifespan development. Milestones change us. Children, jobs, self awareness, failures, lessons, life events. Your partner changes, just like you. And because of this, our relationships change too.
We tend to spend a lot of time chasing what was – or the illusion of what was. We think we should “get back” to what we had.
Stop wasting your time and living in the past. Embrace where you are today. You can’t go back.
If you want to stay together (and you may not, that’s another matter) then start with a focus on the present. Take action to try to make the “now” as best as possible.
Start reconstruction based on where you are at and throw out some baseline data that doesn’t apply.
Where did we learn that long term relationships or marriages have to stay frozen in time? Just like all other “shoulds” handed down mindlessly from one generation to the next, this is a dangerous one. Don’t get caught in a default setting that’s not working for you.
#couplegoals #relationshipgoals #relationships #couples #couplescounseling #counseling #therapy #changeyourmindset #bccounsellor #northernbc #northernbclife #princegeorgebc #britishcolumbia #psycotherapy #marriagetips