I am a C-PTSD survivor.
There. I’ve said it. Out loud. Loudly.
That “diagnosis” (which technically doesn’t exists yet in the diagnostic manual) was proclaimed a few years ago, but I’ve always known. I’ve been in therapy most of my adult life. I’ve healed and continue to heal each day. And, I’m a therapist (and a dam good one), because of it.
A chaotic and troubled childhood, caregivers and parents with their own unresolved and unconscious trauma, mental health issues, shaped my life. Life was always on the fringes, the edge. Almost ok, almost always definitely not. A lack of safety and security – full stop.
I score high on the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) test. Things like divorce, parents with mental health issues, violence, death of a parent, sexual abuse. A higher score indicates a higher likelihood of adult health issues, eating disorders, auto immune conditions, addictions, incarceration etc.
Trauma is what happens inside of you because of what happened to you. It’s amazing that I am who I am today. I am an outlier. So many are not. What makes the difference? Sometimes one secure relationship. Sometimes pure luck.
There are some who will read this and think or say “it wasn’t that bad” or “it couldn’t have been that bad – you are making it up” because they have invested in the version of the story they have shares in. Confronting their own role and experiences in the story will be to painful. In fairness, I’ve masked and over functioned the hell out of life, making it all that much harder to digest.
In the coming weeks I’ll be sharing some of my story on @invisiblescarspodcast and I’ll be talking about C-PTSD from a personal and therapeutic perspective. I’m inspired by the host and her bravery. Her courage will help to heal others. Thank you Jessalynn.
When we step forward into the light, the shame no longer has a hold on us. And when we look behind us we can see just how many were there hiding in the shadows with us.
#cptsd #cptsdrecovery #cptsdawareness #therapy #communitypsychology #traumarecovery #counseling #couplestherapist