Don’t let your own growth be contingent on your relationships.

As couples we tend to organize ourselves around roles or “reciprocal positions” that are complimentary to one another. These behaviours allows couples to function is a fairly predictable way. Think about your relationship and identify the roles you and your partner(s) play. The optimist and the realist. The excitable one and the level one. The introvert and the extrovert. The … Read More

Do you know this feeling?

Do you know this feeling? The kind of regret that makes you look away, from yourself. The rumination that locks you into the past. Stuck on self blame, disappointment, shame, hindsight. A longing for a different story. Convinced that the past which has cemented the present can never be changed for a better tomorrow. An inextricable connection, a trap, of … Read More

Owning Our Story

In the words of the great #brenebrown: “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness … Read More

The story of your relationship

What is the story of your relationship? How do these stories help or hinder your life together? Is there a focus on just a few (negative) stories? Is the attention to a repetitive story, and ignoring of other ones, driving behaviour that is less than optimal? Sometimes our relational experience gets hijacked by our own old self stories that interfere … Read More

Narrative Therapy

On narrative therapy. Our lives are not single storied. They are multiple. Yet for so many of us, we get caught in one story. On repeat. One framework that we believe is the only truth. The one that defines us. The one the limits us. Like a building with many floors, we also have many stories but often get stuck … Read More

“Surrender” is not giving up

Uncontrollable circumstances call for surrender. In the psychological framework “surrender” is not giving up. It’s accepting what is. Embracing the reality that some things cannot be changed, undone or fixed. Surrender can provide a freedom and peace. It can be the pathway to greater joy, aliveness and effectiveness – no matter how traumatic the experience. What we resist, persists said … Read More

The “what has my life become” tired

I know what it feels like to hit this, head on. The “I’m so exhausted I don’t know even know where to fall feeling”. And then you look around and realize you don’t even have the luxury of falling anyhow. There’s a business to run, a job to do, people who have you on the “help” list, kids to drive … Read More

They keep coming back

Think a session sounds great but…it’s too expensive, too unknown, too luxurious, too embarrassing, too selfish, too scary, too much time? Well, that’s your call, but just ask my clients and you’ll get the truth 👍 Is a few hours and a small investment (that pays back immediately) that much, really? I’m not that scary…in fact some people keep coming … Read More

What makes your heart beat?

Maybe you had a goal. Had a plan. Had motivation. And maybe it’s gone flat. Maybe you wish you had a direction. A goal. A vision. A compass. Maybe you have a clear objective. A map. A deadline. But you can’t get mobilized around it anymore. Things are piling up and your focus is blurred. Coaching can help. In just … Read More

Be still.

Today I participated in the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association’s Indigenous Sharing Circle. As a member, and an Indigenous practitioner, I felt drawn to the gathering and found myself arriving to it with some mixed emotion and anxiety. Things have taken a less than desirable turn for our nation in the last week as we face the variant head on. … Read More