Category Archive

If you have ever experienced a traumatic event of any kind then you might have times when unwanted images or, more severely, “flashbacks” invade your mind. These are alarming and upsetting, to say the least. Not an uncommon symptom of trauma, flashbacks can be powerful and it can feel just like the event is happening again. Flashbacks are a symptom … Read More

For much of life I lived with the belief that I was not “enough”. Never smart enough, talented enough, attractive enough, thin enough, successful enough. I bought into this belief and lived up to it. I found myself in bad situations, poor relationships with consequences and limited coping skills. I was a victim of a story. A story that was … Read More

It is only at the end that we begin once again. The end of the dream.The end of the job.The end of the relationship.The end of time.The end of the visit.The end of the business.The end of the day.The end of the move.The end of the life. That is where we begin. Not with grace or ease or comfort. Not … Read More

After more than 20 years in the helping profession there’s not much that I haven’t heard. The stories and experiences that have been shared have brought me into realms of pain, grief, joy, shame, guilt, enlightenment, resilience, awareness, healing, trauma and recovery. The sheer power of the human experience and spirit never ceases to amaze me. I’ve learned that we … Read More

Today I am reminded… “Everything can be taken from a (man/woman) but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” – Viktor Frankl Many of us are suffering. Many of us feel as though we are running on fumes. Many of us are uncertain. Many of … Read More

As couples we tend to organize ourselves around roles or “reciprocal positions” that are complimentary to one another. These behaviours allows couples to function is a fairly predictable way. Think about your relationship and identify the roles you and your partner(s) play. The optimist and the realist. The excitable one and the level one. The introvert and the extrovert. The … Read More

In the words of the great #brenebrown: “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness … Read More

What is the story of your relationship? How do these stories help or hinder your life together? Is there a focus on just a few (negative) stories? Is the attention to a repetitive story, and ignoring of other ones, driving behaviour that is less than optimal? Sometimes our relational experience gets hijacked by our own old self stories that interfere … Read More

On narrative therapy. Our lives are not single storied. They are multiple. Yet for so many of us, we get caught in one story. On repeat. One framework that we believe is the only truth. The one that defines us. The one the limits us. Like a building with many floors, we also have many stories but often get stuck … Read More

Uncontrollable circumstances call for surrender. In the psychological framework “surrender” is not giving up. It’s accepting what is. Embracing the reality that some things cannot be changed, undone or fixed. Surrender can provide a freedom and peace. It can be the pathway to greater joy, aliveness and effectiveness – no matter how traumatic the experience. What we resist, persists said … Read More