The feelings we don’t have the words to often feel the most powerful. ♾When love can’t describe the abundant heart. ♾When fear can’t describe the terror. ♾When devotion isn’t the word that describes the bullet that would be taken. ♾When a “breakdown” can’t begin to articulate the unravelling of the life you’ve held so dear; even if you’ve had a … Read More
What would you be?
If you could, what would you be? If you didn’t have that fear, that voice, that insecurity holding you back? What if you became the person you wanted to? Did the thing you dream of? Started the project that’s been on your mind for a long, long time. What if you transcended those old stories that shackled you to living … Read More
Expectations.
Expectations. The diet that would fix it all. The marriage that would heal the past. The job that represented success. The degree that meant freedom. The “thing” that would fill the gap. But just created a bigger void. Expectations, when unmet, lead to disappointment. Disappointment turned outside is resentment. Resentment and anger turned inside is depression.How do you set yourself … Read More
Good Relationships
Good relationships can be the difference between life and death. Research finds that people who have supportive, healthy and loving relationships (of all kinds) have been found to be more effective in warding off illness and mortality than weight loss, regular exercise and smoking cessation alone. Of course the opposite is true as well, toxic relationships have a substantially negative … Read More
Beautiful struggle.
Beautiful struggle. The things we are most proud of, in love with, believe in, feel the most meaningful about often have some sharp edges to the story. The degree that took the single mother years to complete and meant she couldn’t make her kid’s class trips. The child that took so many years to conceive. The promotion that meant a … Read More
About Marriage
Marriage as we generally know it is a template that’s socially inherited. We are provided an antiquated construct of what it “should” look like – man, woman, children, monogamous, forever. The social marker of happiness. But over 40% of them end because not one shoe fits us all. And it sure hurts when it’s forced. It’s time to mindfully examine … Read More
Dealing with Relationship Conflict in the Moment
“How do I deal with relationship conflict in the moment?” It all starts with a deep breath to calm the panic that hits the nervous system. Then these words “open mind, closed mouth”. The more we listen the more we learn. And learning allows us to understand the needs behind the emotion. Listening generously does not mean standing down in … Read More
Who’s running your schedule?
Are you running the schedule? Or is the schedule running you? What starts off feeling like a sense of order and control ends up feeling like a “five-years-less a day” jail sentence. It takes us from being in the moment to thinking (and worrying) about the next and the next and the next. It feels frantic and intense and the … Read More
“Move a muscle. Change a thought.”
“Move a muscle. Change a thought.”I love this cognitive behavioural principle. The cycle for me (and most humans) is getting stuck in rumination and overthinking, which leads to worry, sadness, or challenging feelings and then typically less than optimal behaviour (more wine, salty food, cake, Netflix binge anyone?…). We tend to think that we just have to think differently or … Read More
Journey of Eating Disorder Recovery
The journey of eating disorder recovery has been a long one. And I’m still on it. Like many, I’ve hid my ED from people in my life. Too ashamed and embarrassed to talk about “it”. But over the last decade I’ve started sharing my experiences and story and become committed to recovery. No surprise it correlates with the birth of … Read More