Relationship advice.
Here is some free relationship advice (from a human who is in a relationship but routinely gets it wrong, but who happens to read, study and learn on this topic…).
So, I’m an “expert” in theory, and struggle in practice, because like you I’m also human with a host of issues and lots of trauma.
That said, here goes…
If you want a happier intimate relationship – and less stress in all your personal relationships – be aware of the common traps.
Losing strategies that we gravitate to repetitively (courtesy Terry Real):
➡️Trying to control our partner (if they’d only…)
➡️Unleashed expression (letting it all out, unabashedly saying what “needs” to be said)
➡️Punishment and retaliation
➡️Factual righteousness (I’m right, the evidence lines up)
➡️Withdrawal
I see couples and individuals who are using these strategies daily and are miserable. Is it any wonder why?
Here’s a big mind f$&k – ready?
Being happy in a relationship takes work. Yes, being happy.
Dealing with “hard stuff” is work, we all know that. Being happy, that takes work too. Everyday.
So there you go, you imperfect somewhat screwed up human (like the rest of us) trying to make it work in a loving relationship of any stripe, there you go.
PS – Try the opposite of the 5 losing strategies and let’s see what happens. And, get some therapy.
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