Communication. Being in a relationship and not saying what your think, want, expect and need is like driving on a busy freeway and trying to changing lanes – without signalling. Every time you try to move you get blocked. There are incidents and accidents. You keep struggling to get where you want to go. It’s an exercise in frustration and … Read More
Decisions. We’ve never wanted more from “marriages” than we do now. Be it lega…
Decisions. We’ve never wanted more from “marriages” than we do now. Be it legally married or long term or common law, the expectations are massive. We want a soul mate, a best friend, excitement, stability, great sex, support, unconditional love. We want all our emotional and physical needs met in our marriages. Well, that’s just not realistic. Full stop. That’s … Read More
Those moments. “Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing ag…
Those moments. “Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.” L.R. Knost Find the … Read More
The fight. It’s never about the schedule. The laundry. The dishes. The kids. W…
The fight. It’s never about the schedule. The laundry. The dishes. The kids. Who gets a break. It’s always about connection, recognition, power and control. If your fights sound the same, which they almost always do, stop and think about it. What need, vulnerability or bias is getting triggered again and again and again. Ask “what’s really going on here?” … Read More
If you’ve felt a love like this. You know. You never forget. That moment y…
If you’ve felt a love like this. You know. You never forget. That moment your heart took flight. Here’s to a life that finds new dimensions. To hearts that bear the crushing weight and go back for more. To love and loss and everything in between. #love #couples #relationships #lovers #bestfriends #growth Source
Visibility In relationships we rarely see the wound, only the scar. What lie…
Visibility In relationships we rarely see the wound, only the scar. What lies deep beneath is what fuels the present. Where we come from, what our experiences were like as children, the social and political environment we live in, trauma, lived experiences, and the patriarchy all come with us into every relationship we form. Every. Single. One. That human you … Read More
Relationships. As a couples therapist I want to say something to everyone in a…
Relationships. As a couples therapist I want to say something to everyone in a relationship: Relationships change over time. They have to. Because… You change over time, constantly in development from year to year. It’s called lifespan development. Milestones change us. Children, jobs, self awareness, failures, lessons, life events. Your partner changes, just like you. And because of this, our … Read More
Sensitive partners. Learning to love a sensitive partner. The sensitive part…
Sensitive partners. Learning to love a sensitive partner. The sensitive partner will hear every word. Will absorb every comment. Will read your every move and likely read into it, to. Your sharp response, unbridled self expression, frustration and displacement will be taken personally. They will typically retreat over retaliate, over think, wound easily and hold onto the things you think … Read More
Relationship advice. Here is some free relationship advice (from a human who i…
Relationship advice. Here is some free relationship advice (from a human who is in a relationship but routinely gets it wrong, but who happens to read, study and learn on this topic…). So, I’m an “expert” in theory, and struggle in practice, because like you I’m also human with a host of issues and lots of trauma. That said, here … Read More
Posted @withregram • @cjspennington The Calvary. You are going through hard ti…
Posted @withregram • @cjspennington The Calvary. You are going through hard times. And you reach out to your “Calvary”. You know, those people who come at the ready to defend you and always have your back. Family or friends. They feel what you feel, couldn’t agree more, and validate your feelings. They cry with you. Elevate you. Save you. Tell … Read More
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