If you know me, you know I believe in change. I believe in the human spirit designed to rise and fall, and rise again. Life is not linear, it’s full of good and amazing and awful and painful. It is all the things we want and often more of what we do not. It’s our adversity that makes is stronger … Read More
Relationships. As a couples therapist I want to say something to everyone in a…
Relationships. As a couples therapist I want to say something to everyone in a relationship: Relationships change over time. They have to. Because… You change over time, constantly in development from year to year. It’s called lifespan development. Milestones change us. Children, jobs, self awareness, failures, lessons, life events. Your partner changes, just like you. And because of this, our … Read More
Sensitive partners. Learning to love a sensitive partner. The sensitive part…
Sensitive partners. Learning to love a sensitive partner. The sensitive partner will hear every word. Will absorb every comment. Will read your every move and likely read into it, to. Your sharp response, unbridled self expression, frustration and displacement will be taken personally. They will typically retreat over retaliate, over think, wound easily and hold onto the things you think … Read More
Anxious thoughts. Anxious thoughts are powerful because they are automatic. To…
Anxious thoughts. Anxious thoughts are powerful because they are automatic. Total automatic asshole thoughts. Here’s 10 questions to ask yourself to help fight them off. 1) Is it “true”? 2) How do I know it’s true? 3) Is the anxious thought 100% true? (something less than 100% true is not true) 4) What’s the evidence against it being true? 5) … Read More
Afterwards. The afterwards. In our moments of deepest pain, grief, betrayal,…
Afterwards. The afterwards. In our moments of deepest pain, grief, betrayal, and hurt we do not think about what will come next. The “afterwards”. A hostage in the moment. Time standing still. Caught in the firestorm. Washed over by the wave. A narrowed focus. A nightmare becomes real, and a trauma is lived. But there is an afterwards. After the … Read More
Weight I know it’s stupid… It shouldn’t matter…. I don’t know why this bothe…
Weight I know it’s stupid… It shouldn’t matter…. I don’t know why this bothers me so much…. I’m body positive, why do I care? It’s so trivial… But is it? When your life is predicated on daily and often moment to moment unwelcome and obtrusive thoughts about how you don’t measure up, are not enough, are a failure, have disappointed … Read More
My morning with “Mouse” and friends @ridgecountryfarm getting my dose of heart m…
My morning with “Mouse” and friends @ridgecountryfarm getting my dose of heart math healing. According to Tauna Bogle “Science says: a Horse’s heart makes a Human heart feel better” “Recent studies conducted by the Institute of Heart-Math provide a clue to explain the “two-way healing” that occurs when we’re close to horses. According to researchers, the heart has an electromagnetic … Read More
Crisis Crisis is the mother of (re)invention of the self. You can’t go back af…
Crisis Crisis is the mother of (re)invention of the self. You can’t go back after a crisis because you are changed. But not necessarily for the worse. Did you know that personality is not set? In 2012 academics found as many participants as possible of a Scottish study conducted in 1947 on personality. At the time of the study, participants … Read More
Relationship advice. Here is some free relationship advice (from a human who i…
Relationship advice. Here is some free relationship advice (from a human who is in a relationship but routinely gets it wrong, but who happens to read, study and learn on this topic…). So, I’m an “expert” in theory, and struggle in practice, because like you I’m also human with a host of issues and lots of trauma. That said, here … Read More
Relational brain. Interpersonal neurobiology is the study of how our brains and…
Relational brain. Interpersonal neurobiology is the study of how our brains and central nervous system are developed through childhood relationships and how these relationships, imprinted into our psyche, impact and influence our neurobiology as adults. It’s been proven that we can co-regulate one another’s nervous systems. I do it everyday with my clients. Influencing cortisol (stress hormones – not all … Read More